That’s correct, you read it right. I’m just not a hugger. I’ve thought about this for a while and it’s always been a conundrum for me. I hug my partner (obviously). I hug my family. Beyond that, this is pretty much me screaming on the inside:
I’m not sure why, it’s so awkward for me. I usually feel the peer pressure when my partner (who IS a hugger) goes to hug someone we just met or barely know. I’m standing there thinking ‘Seriously? I have this huge obligatory hug about to happen and I don’t even know you! I met you all of 5 minutes ago!’ Now, I have to hug otherwise I’ll be viewed as a rude snobby bitch or standoffish. The decision has been made for me and another person removed my hugging choice. I have been violated. Although, here is a picture of someone I wouldn’t mind hugging:
I always fantasized about hanging out with friends (gay or otherwise) who hugged and kissed you on your cheek when greeting each other. The reality is, no. I can’t do it naturally. I have to think it through. Practicing in my head over and over like I’m some Catholic church member nervously awaiting his turn to speak with the priest or a schoolboy getting ready to go in front of the class to give a presentation. I swear my palms are sweaty and now, I can’t even shake their hand. Would they notice if I wiped my hand on my pants? Here’s how I usually pull it off, the ol’ handshake hug:
Sometimes the handshake hug could be worse. You could get your hands locked and squished between your bodies as your hugging. The only hope is your hands are high enough so you don’t accidentally have a “cop-a-feel” moment.
This isn’t how a gay man is supposed to be. He’s supposed to be all touchy-feely and bubbly. I’m more of the reserved gay man. Let others be all bouncy, full of energy and fun. I have depth, I have composure, I have…the unnerving nervousness of hugging (unless I have the security of a few cocktails). A couple of drinks and all bets are off. I may hug you twice because you forgot something and came back. Something I have done and later relived, over and over and over.
I didn’t realize how popular awkward hugs were until I started looking for photos to use. Each photo was used in an awkward hug moment. I’m glad to see I am not the only one that feels this way…
Now get out there and hug someone!
Cover photo courtesy of Smosh’s 21 Incredibly Awkward Hugs.